[0:00] Music.
[0:13] If I had to summarize my entire content and marketing strategy in one sentence, it would probably be saying the things that I've noticed nobody else is saying. So here's one that's been on my mind for the last few days. I was driving home from the gym the other day and I had this thought about this phrase that we commonly hear, which is that Instagram is just a highlight reel. People's lives aren't actually that good. Instagram has this toxic, perfectionist culture. And I agree with that in some ways, but I mostly strongly disagree. The reason why I was thinking about this is because I was thinking, if one of you were to come over to my house today and watch what I do, watch me work, observe the circumstances in my house, I think what you would actually say is that my life is even better than the way that I portray on Instagram. And I'm not just saying that. And I know that might be triggering for people to hear that because it's not common for people to talk about how good life can be. But that's why I'm saying it. And I genuinely feel like I live my life in such a way that the things that you see on Instagram are just a tiny snippet of the highlights of my life. I don't even share most of the things that are good or amazing about my life. Additionally, I don't feel that Instagram is a toxic place for me because I have super strong boundaries.
[1:34] Because I notice when Instagram makes me feel a certain way that I don't want to feel and I set a boundary around it. So I am a super active participant in the curation of my Instagram experience. I'm not just a passive consumer. I do consume. One day I hope to transcend the occasional habit of the doom scroll. I have not yet. And until then, I'm just going to let myself enjoy it. But I want to participate in the experience that I'm creating of my Instagram experience. And I want to be an active participant and not just like a passive consumer. I am very careful about who I follow. If there's someone that I follow who I don't feel like they have the same values as me or whatever, it could be anything. Even the slightest thing, something that makes me feel triggered or makes me compare myself. I just don't follow them. And there are people who have huge accounts who I like to, I say this frequently actually, someone will ask me, do you follow so-and-so? That's like a big name that everyone follows. And I'm like, no, I actually don't. But occasionally I will pop in and check on their content. That's one way, a boundary that I've set around curating my Instagram experience. So it's like, instead of me seeing content from them every single day, I see it maybe once a month, maybe once a quarter. And I really like that. So the people who are in my feed, who I'm seeing on a daily basis, are people who I have a personal friendship with.
[3:01] Or people who have created something that I want to create. And there are actually people in my account who I follow who I do disagree with sometimes, but I like following them because it helps me develop my own thinking.
[3:14] So all this to say that if you have had this feeling before that Instagram is just not the place or Instagram is a bad place, I want to turn the message on that. One of my pillars, I guess, of beliefs is that marketing should feel good. If this effort of marketing and putting our businesses in front of people and gaining visibility and spreading our messages and changing people's lives and helping them get the results that they want is important.
[3:42] I know that's important. I believe that's like one of the things that God probably put some of us on this earth for. So therefore, marketing is a very valuable skill. And if that's the case, then I think that marketing should be an effort that feels feels sustainable, that feels peaceful, in my opinion, I think that your marketing should feel like invigorating. I think it should give you more energy so that when you're done marketing, you feel like you have more energy to go serve your clients, more energy to go serve your family instead of feeling like it's a drain on your energy, which is how probably 95% of people feel about it, right? That's why I'm here. I'm here to change this whole conversation. So first, I want to say that I'm probably preaching to the choir a little bit because I know that most of you, many of you who are listening to me are already participating in Instagram content creation where you are marketing your offers because that's probably how you found me. So I don't have to sell you on how cool this opportunity is for us to participate in creating content on Instagram as a way to make money, as a way to create good in the world. So like I said, I probably don't have to sell you on that idea. But what I do want to sell you on in this episode is my point of view about content creation. I have a new filter for my ideal clients in all of my programs. It's actually not new. I've just never said it out loud. One of my filters is people who I love working with are people who love the opportunity to market on Instagram.
[5:09] There are people who don't love that opportunity and that's totally fine. And honestly, I see their point of view and I respect it. I have no judgment for it and I'm not worried for them. There are so many different ways to market successfully, even if you don't choose Instagram. I just happen to think this is a really cool opportunity. And so I want to share more of my thoughts with you today about how I don't just see Instagram as a place that I come to sell.
[5:33] I do not see it as a place that I come to market my offers. And I think that if you do see Instagram that way, then that's why you're feeling content burnout.
[5:41] That's why you're feeling marketing burnout. So like I said, I want to sell you on my point of view, which is that this work of creating content that we do goes so much deeper than just making sales. I want to sell you on my point of view, which is that content creation is a personal development experience.
[6:00] Let me explain what I mean. Well, I will explain more about what I mean by that in just a minute, but content creation is a personal development experience. I have learned more about myself through this process of creating, writing, testing, experimenting, putting out different types of content because I do it for the purpose of connecting with actual humans instead of for the purpose of just selling stuff. And that is a way to do Instagram marketing. And that's fine. And there are big brands doing it that way. But if you're listening to this, you're probably a personal brand where you want to be the face of the brand. You want people to know your name. You want people to know you. You want people to hear from you and to hear your thoughts. And so if that's the case, then the content that you create should be like a little tiny capsule of you, your love, your experience, your unique thoughts, your unique point of view. And this is how I genuinely feel about marketing. And I'm not just saying this to try to sound good. This is like a true story. When I create content, it feels like a creative expression.
[7:11] It feels as good as, you know, for those of you who are like, oh, I just, you know, I love doing the work on my business. I love serving my clients. I just don't really like creating content. I think we need to lean into the creative elements and aspects of it more. Not because, well, I I actually do think that your content will be better that way, obviously, but also very much in the interest of making this work of creating content and putting your voice out into the world sustainable so that you can do it for a really long time. Because those of us who are able to do it for a really long time are the ones that make it. So there's a couple, a lot of different ways to express yourself creatively through your content. My two favorite ways are through visuals And my other favorite way is through words. So let's go back to this. Instagram is just a highlight reel and how I disagree with that. There is so much good in my life that I don't really document super well, to be honest. Like I have relationships with friends and extended family. We have close friends who are like family. And I think the last time that I took a group picture with them was at our wedding 10 years ago. We're together all the time, but we're not always documenting these moments together. So there's a lot of good in my life that I'm not even documenting.
[8:25] There are also parts of my life that I am documenting that I'm not sharing. Let me just share a funny example. I have this video in my phone right now that I do share. It's like my personal friends and family because it's so freaking cute. But I have this video of Drew.
[8:38] Drew's language is very much still developing. My other kids were talking a lot sooner than him, but he learns random words really easily and quickly. So one of his favorite words is Darth. And he says it just like that. Darth, as in like Darth Vader from Star Wars, because his oldest brother Grant is on a Star Wars kick. And so I have this video of Drew walking around wearing a Darth Vader mask with this mini, it's like a three inch long red lightsaber, lightsaber which is significant I've learned because red is the color of Darth Vader's lightsaber in case you needed to know so Drew's walking around holding this tiny little red lightsaber with his Darth Vader mask on and you can see his eyes like poking through the holes and he's just like walking around breathing like Darth Vader it's the freaking cutest thing in my life I should share it on Instagram but I haven't yet so again one of those examples total side note total tangent but one of those things that I am documenting in my life that I'm not sharing And so there are parts of my life that are really, really good that no one ever sees on Instagram. And so I disagree with people saying that Instagram is just a highlight reel. It is a highlight reel, but it also has even more good happening behind the scenes. And yes, there are messes happening behind the scenes too. And yes, there are hard and sticky and awkward, uncomfortable things happening too. But that doesn't, for me, give me a good reason to quit marketing here.
[9:56] So like I said, that's just the tip of the iceberg of the good that's happening being behind the scenes. I also want to speak to some of these other frustrations that I've heard come up. One is that Instagram is a comparison trap. Like I said before, I'm just going to say this more clearly. If you feel that way about Instagram, then you need to be more picky about who you're following. So for me, I don't follow any celebrities.
[10:19] I don't follow almost any, you know, quote unquote, big name influencers, because what does that even mean anymore? I don't know. I pretty much only follow people who I either know personally or their content inspires me. If it makes me feel pretty much any other way, I probably don't follow them. If you notice yourself getting triggered when you come to Instagram, then stop following people who make you feel triggered. Unless, like I said, you're really weird like me and sometimes you like to follow people like that. But when I notice comparison coming up for me, I like to see it as a little like, ding, ding, ding, alert, alert, that my brain is believing something that's not true. If I do come across a post or a piece of content or something that makes me feel like, ah.
[11:02] I'm not doing as well as someone else, or I'm not as good as someone else, or I'm not as cool as, or as pretty as, or as fit as, or whatever. That for me is just an alarm bell of like, hey, you are believing something that's not true. You are probably believing something about how your life could be better or should be better. And we've already done the work to discover that's not true because if it was the case, then that's how your life would be. So let's get super clear and satisfied with your current reality. And if that comparison does come up, I see it instead of as an opportunity to like think down on myself. I see it like as an alert. This is a really fun thought that I've been playing with is if I ever have the thought like someone else's life is better than mine, I can actually prove that that's not true because I can't do anything to change their their life. I can only do things to change mine. And that sounds way better. So even though my brain would like to think their life is better than mine, that's not true because it's not.
[12:06] And I think the more and more we can get satisfied with, this comes from Byron Katie, loving what is, the more and more we get satisfied with reality and what's currently happening, even though for a second might think it's not what you want, a lot of worry and anxiety and stress stress will lift from your life. Because just the friction of seeing your life the way that it is and feeling that it's not good enough will instantly cause you to feel stress, anxiety, and worry. So let's go back to this point of view that I have. That was kind of a big side note, but I think it's significant to talk about where some of these thoughts that can cause Instagram to feel like an unsettling experience can be coming from so that you can identify them, so that you can help your brain wrap your mind around what could be more true instead of just buying into the common beliefs that Instagram is a comparison trap. We have so much more control over that than we like to admit that we do. So let's go back to my point of view that I have, that content creation is a personal development experience.
[13:08] As a marketer of your business, you're going to spend some amount of time sharing things for the purpose of resonating with people. I don't view marketing as only a way to sell my offers. I think that if in your mind marketing equals selling, you probably are on the path or have been or are already experiencing content burnout, frustration, exhaustion.
[13:34] If you see your Instagram marketing as this is the place that I go when I have to make an offer, when I have to make sales, of course your brain is going to get discouraged and burnout and frustrated by that because that's not always the guaranteed result. If we can shift your brain instead to seeing it as this equation, marketing equals human connection, which then equals selling, it's going to feel so much better for your soul.
[14:02] It's going to feel like you belong here. It's going to feel like you are good enough. And the things that you have to say are enough and they are important and they are significant. Can you see how the focus shifts from, you know, just even if you were to open your Instagram feed and go to post something and ask yourself, what am I doing this for? Am I doing this for any other reason besides to connect with human beings? Things, because if yes, then it's probably going to be also the reason why after you post, you are looking for the numbers. You're looking for the validation. You're looking for the likes. You're looking for the comments. You're looking for the DMs. You're looking for the follows.
[14:40] Instead of trusting that this piece of content that I just shared will resonate with someone and I might never know, and that's still a good enough reason for me to put out this content. This can happen with your Instagram content. I should also mention this can happen with your email marketing as well. We can't always see the human connection happening. That's why our brain likes to see the likes, the follows, the comments, the DMs, because that's something we can visibly see. We can't always visibly see the human connection. I think actually very rarely can we. And so that's when we have to lean into faith that the things that I'm saying are bound to positively affect someone out here somewhere today, and that's why I'm posting. And then the sales become the byproduct. The sales become the side benefit, the after effect, instead of the goal. I see marketing as a way to create human connection, which then creates sales.
[15:38] Let me do put in here a quick little side note that I do think taking regularly scheduled breaks from Instagram is also a very, not just important, a necessary boundary to set. I don't like to do anything every single day. And I probably would get burnt out of my marketing really easily if I did expect myself to show up every single day and to sell every single day. So I just want to say, I think taking regularly scheduled breaks isn't just smart, it's required.
[16:04] I take breaks takes most weekends, whenever I feel like it. I take days off. I take weeks off.
[16:13] Nate and I went on a cruise a couple of weeks ago, and we didn't end up buying the Wi-Fi package, which ended up being one of my favorite parts of the trip because we weren't even able to scroll. We both definitely, you know, love a good doom scroll, and we'll like sit next to each other like everyone does, where you're sitting next to each other in bed at night, and you're both scrolling on your phones instead of talking to each other and hanging out. And we do talk to each other, and we do hang out a lot. But it was really fun on this trip to not even have that option because it forced us to hang out with each other. And like I said, it was just nice to not have the temptation of being on it. And so I do think and see and recommend the value of taking breaks. Next, let's talk about this. When you're a coach or a creator or a service provider, the product that you're selling, quote unquote, is you. It's your brain. And that includes years of hard-earned experience experience, that includes revelation that you've received from heaven, that includes courses you've invested in, coaches, programs you've learned from and grown from, books you've read, podcasts you've listened to. So basically for all of us who are coaches, creators, or service providers, what we're basically selling is an opportunity for people to interact with our brains. Whether that's a process or a system or a formula that your brain invented.
[17:32] That you're then going to deliver to people through a course, through a membership, through group experience, or whether you're a service provider and you have a unique skill or technique in your brain that you want people to buy access to, whether that's learning how or paying for your services to actually do it for them. If you're a coach, you have developed your brain to be able to see things that people can't see about themselves. So people are paying for access to your brain where you can see things that they can't see. And so all of those things are basically work that you and I are all doing behind the scenes to develop. We're trying to develop our brains. We're trying to develop our thinking, our processes, our strategies, our systems, so that we can help our clients better.
[18:21] And so it would make sense to me that in the same way that developing our craft as a coach, a service provider, is significant to the work that you do, the service that you're able to provide for your clients, I see your content as the exact same thing. I see the experience, the process of improving your content as the same work as developing your skills as with the craft that you do for your people. The content is just the way that people are able to get a taste of it before they pay you. And so I think that, again, bringing it back to this message that I have, which is that creating content is a personal development experience. I have really grown as a human because of my dedication to creating content. And because of my dedication to developing my craft, I've developed as a human and my work has grown, right? It's kind of like this beautiful upward endless spiral.
[19:15] So there are three main ways that I've noticed in myself that I have improved as a human being because of my dedication to the work of creating content. So the first one is... Visibility. I used to be afraid of being seen at all. And that probably goes even deeper than I've even let myself realize because I was really shy as a kid. And as a teenager, I had super low self-esteem as a teenager, especially in high school. I was constantly very aware of very self-conscious. And that was an experience that I had that I'm grateful for, but is something that as a content creator, I've had to work on and I've had to play with and I've had to loosen my thoughts around and my fears around. So now I'm about to say I'm not afraid to be seen while also having awareness that I probably still am in some ways. I know that I probably still have an upper limit on how much I'm willing to be seen. But now I know that I have things that I want to say and I'm not as afraid to say it because I'm not as afraid of how people will receive it. It, that's a personal development experience. For me to be able to even be on this podcast talking right now in the contrast of the girl in high school who was afraid to stand up in front of a class and say anything, that's a big change. That's a lot of development in who I am. That is also directly correlated with my belief in my own worthiness.
[20:40] That I believe that I have thoughts that are worth sharing, that people need to hear. I have things to say that can make people's lives better.
[20:48] And so when I really lean into to my belief in my worth, the worth of my thoughts, the worth of my opinions, it makes visibility easier because it's like, this is important. This is something that I, although it will be uncomfortable, I can push through it because I know there's a reward on the other side of it. And the reward is for other people to benefit. The reward is for me to make an income from home. The reward is for me to become, to have a more valuable brain. The second reason why content has been a personal development experience for me that you will very much see if you were able to look back several years ago in my life, is that I now have strong points of view.
[21:30] I have stronger opinions. I used to be okay with being neutral all the time. I was probably very scared of negative emotions. I was scared of anyone disagreeing with me because that meant that I was wrong or that I did something wrong or that's what my brain likes to think, right? I used to think, never say anything that anyone could possibly disagree with because that creates conflict and conflict is bad. I don't actually see all conflict as bad now. I think that people having opinions that are different than mine gives me a chance to clarify or revisit or reevaluate my own opinions. And that's a really good thing. I have a lot more ability to see my point of view more clearly. And I have lots of examples of that. Let me actually give you a quick example. One of those points of view that I have had that has also shifted along with this content creation slash personal development experience that I've been putting myself through for the last several years. And I used to say that balance is impossible.
[22:22] I'm sure that was a phrase that I said that I perpetuated. And I used to agree with that. And I used to think that and say that. But I don't think that or say that anymore because I do enjoy a ton of balance on a daily basis.
[22:37] Does that mean that every day is perfect and I never have negative emotions and there's never any problems that come up? No. But I do use those incongruent moments to show me what I need more of. So basically what I'm saying is that I'm eating my words a little bit because I I do enjoy balance most days, and I used to be afraid to say that. And now when I have things that feel off, I study those things and I look at them really closely and I look at for ways to build in more support. I have a ton of support, and that's why I feel like I can say confidently and with integrity that I experience balance in my life. That's a strong point of view that I have now. And it's okay with me that my point of view is different now, and it's okay with me if other people don't see it the same that I do, but it's really important to me that I have clarity about what my truths and values are because I fight for those in my content and I use my content to help other people see my point of view. And why do I want other people to see my point of view? Because the results that I've created in my business are a reflection of my point of view. And so if I want other people to create those results in their businesses too, Two, whether it's a tangible result like sales in your bank account or an intangible result like peace in your soul while you're playing Play-Doh with your daughter, it's really important to me that people have the same point of view as I have because it's the point of view that's helped me create the results that I've created.
[24:05] The third point that I want to make is I am much better at communication.
[24:09] I'm better at saying things more specifically and more succinctly than I used to be in my marketing and in my life. I was just teaching a lesson on Sunday and I thought, I am actually pretty good at this and I do this basically on a weekly basis. And so even teaching a room of people, a lot of people in person doesn't freak me out because I'm doing this all the time. I want to give you an example for my marriage though. In the first year of our marriage, I used to really struggle to communicate my emotions to Nate, bless his heart. Nate got the silent treatment a lot. And not because I was necessarily mad at him or like trying to punish him by not saying anything, which is sometimes what the silent treatment is. It was actually because something would make me feel an emotion, usually a negative one, usually upset. And I would be visibly upset, but I really struggled to get the words out of my mouth and tell him what was making me upset or why it made me upset. First, because I think I lacked, I had to first figure out like, what am I actually feeling? I had to really practice letting myself feel the negative emotions instead of buffering them or stuffing them down or running away from them. So first I had to let the emotions come up and then I had to name them and then I had to be able to say out loud with my words what I was feeling to my husband. And honestly, it's still something that comes up for me on occasion. And now I can And say, oh, hey, young Kaylin, who is still struggling to use her words to tell people about how she's feeling and what she needs. Hey, I see you. Because I can recognize the problem that's going on now.
[25:38] Basically I'm a lot better at communication now because I've been putting words on social media for the last seven years. And so I've gotten a lot of practice communicating what I think. And I've had a lot of opportunities to try different ways of saying things and sort of watching and observing the way that people react. And I've also observed that there's certain ways that I say things that don't seem to really get a reaction. And there's certain ways of saying the exact same thing that makes people go send me a DM and be like, oh my goodness, thank you so much for this. So to recap, three ways that I have grown and improved as a human being because of my Instagram marketing. It sounds so silly probably to someone hearing me saying that on the outside, but again, this is just one of my points of views that this work that we're doing that's content creation is so deep and so important to ourselves, to the person we're becoming, to the people we need to become for the people
[26:33] who need us to serve them. And those three things are lessening the fear of being seen, increasing your comfort with being visible, having a strong point of view, and lastly, being able to communicate that strong point of view.
[26:48] I'm having so much fun playing around with some of these thoughts. And I would love to hear what the biggest shift you had from this episode was. Please send it to me in a DM, send me an email. I would love to hear and know who's listening. And if you wouldn't mind leaving a review for this podcast as well. I would always love and appreciate it. Have the best week you guys, and I'll see you next time.
[27:08] Hey, I hope you loved this week's episode. If you did, I know you would love to be a member of my community, The Greenhouse. It's where I teach you how to build an amazing, fruitful life while you build an amazing, fruitful business. It is a movement for women who want to unsubscribe from the traditional success path that says that life has to be a struggle and instead learn how good making more money can get, how fun marketing can be, and how much joy and presence you're capable of feeling as a woman and as a mother. Find out more and join at kaitlynpriest.com slash greenhouse and I'll see you there.
[27:48] Music.
