[0:00] Music.
[0:13] I'm switching things up with this episode just a little bit because this week is my birthday week. Actually, when this episode airs, my birthday will have already passed. But it's not just any birthday week for me. This week is my 30th birthday. And so I want to share with you some things that I've learned in my past decade of life. And I also want to share a few few things that I'm looking forward to in my 30s. And first, there's something that I need to say. I was hesitant to even say my age in this episode because I feel like for women, knowing how old someone is makes it so easy to compare and it makes it so easy to judge where you are in your own life or your own accomplishments. And so I just want to say if you have had that temptation to judge yourself or any of your life accomplishments, or if you do at any point in this episode, this is my disclaimer, I see you and stop it, okay?
[1:09] I'm going to give you a peek behind the scenes into my story, but the part of this episode that's going to be the most interesting will be the parts that are relevant to your story. In whatever way, shape, or form it has looked, no matter what age you are, no matter whether you're just starting or whether you are well-worn on the path of entrepreneurship.
[1:32] I just want you to be able to see yourself in my story, but not because of my age. Okay? Okay. Let's get into it. So quick recap of my 20s. I am very, very, very grateful for the experience of my 20s. It started with me serving a mission for my church in the state of Washington. Pretty soon afterwards, I came home and married Nate, my high school sweetheart. And Nate and I have basically been a package deal ever since the end of our junior years in high school. And next year we will have been married for a decade. So that's crazy. During this almost decade with Nate, we welcomed three babies into our world, which has obviously been the highlight of my life. I am probably not going to say that much more about it because I can already feel tears coming to my eyes. I cry really easily when I talk about my My kids, obviously, they're just the best and the highlight of my life.
[2:26] In addition to raising babies and surviving the newborn stage and watching them transform into toddlers and watching their first steps and their first words and their first tantrums and their first, you know, first milk spilled on the floor, then watching them transform into preschoolers and elementary school kids, we have also moved seven times. Times and I think it's interesting and you should know this that three of those times three of those moves were moving back into my parents basement at different times I think I counted I don't know if I I don't know if I got this correctly but I'm pretty sure we lived in my parents basement for at least five of the 10 past years of my life which I'm very grateful to have had access to that resource as far as my business goes I've been all over the place with with all different kinds of things that I've been working on in my businesses. But I would just sum it all up by saying I sold a lot of products, I sold a lot of different offers, and I sold a business, which is pretty cool and I am super proud of that. So reflecting on my past decade, I have been involved in a business for all of those years except for one.
[3:42] And so I want to share with you three very specific ways that I have watched myself grow and develop in the last decade, specifically because of my business. So again, I just want to say that the qualities that I'm going to talk about are not qualities that are given by birthright. They're not just like naturally born qualities that are available to some and not to others. So I think these are qualities that anyone can practice and develop. So here's the first one for me. I have watched myself become a girl who, when I say I'm going to do something, I do it. And I have become more and more aware of how rare this is. And I don't know if this is a unique character trait or if this is just something that feels naturally really easy for me, but my ability to say no has improved dramatically in the past decade. But when I say yes to something, I give it a wholehearted yes.
[4:42] So this has been brought very profoundly back to my awareness. Just in the last couple of weeks, two of my brothers have signed up for a half marathon as an extra incentive to work out. And so I was texting them back and forth about it. And then I thought, wait, would it bug you guys if I come and run it with you? And they were like, yeah, sure. Knock yourself out. But I was like, wait, no. When I say I'm going to do things like this, I really do them. And so I think this is a unique quality that I have developed that has really benefited me in my life and in my business. The year after Nate and I got married, I got this idea one day. I can seriously remember like waking up in the morning and I've always had a goal on my bucket list to run a marathon. I set that goal when I was a seventh grader and I remember where I was when I set the goal. But there was one day when I was newlywed, recently married to Nate, when I woke up in the morning and I thought, if I want to run a marathon, this is my chance, basically, because I knew we wanted to have babies and I knew it would probably not be, I probably didn't have multiple years left where I wouldn't either be pregnant or with a new baby.
[5:48] And so it kind of hit me on the head that if I wanted to run a marathon at this phase of my life, it would be significantly easier to do that that summer than it ever would be again. And so I did it. And it was one of the coolest experiences of my life. And like I said, I've just learned recently what a gift it is to have that ability to be able to say that I'm going to do something and then to do it wholeheartedly. I'm curious if you have identified this quality for yourself or not, do you keep your commitments to yourself?
[6:22] When you say you're going to do something, how often do you actually do that thing? And I think for a lot of women, a lot of us could greatly benefit from either an awareness of ways that we could keep our commitments better, especially the commitments we make to ourselves more frequently, or a better ability to just follow through and just do the thing without questioning and doubting ourselves self so much. So that kind of leads me to item number two, which is that I really love to run experiments. And I don't know if this is a quality that, well, yeah, this is definitely a quality of mine that has developed over the past 10 years. I remember in fifth grade, you know when you get those papers that ask what you want to be when you grow up and why? I remember writing on mine in fifth grade that I wanted to be a scientist because I like running experiments. That's what I wrote on my paper. I want to be a scientist because I like running experiments.
[7:23] And I remember someone pointed out to me, well, you know, scientists don't just run experiments all day long. They do a lot of research and they have a lot of working knowledge of things. And then after that, I was kind of like, oh, never mind. Being a scientist sounds boring. But I think it's kind of cute in a way that that kind of is what I do for work and for fun. Now, I run experiments all the time. In fact, it would not be a stretch to say that my entire business is one big, fat, giant experiment.
[7:55] And I do do a lot of research and I am constantly learning. And because of that, I am always increasing my working knowledge. But I think there's a lot to be said about being in love with the process of building your business. One of my favorite quotes is the winners fall in love with the process not the results i should find out who said that so i can give that person appropriate credit because i really love really love that quote in my 20s i have fallen more in love with the process than i ever could have imagined when i stepped into this entrepreneurship thing and by saying that i'm not saying that i consider myself a winner but i'm just saying that i feel like i found this really sweet spot where I enjoy the work that I do on a day-to-day basis so much that I can see myself continuing to do this, this, whatever this is, for a really long time. I think the this is writing, creating content, connecting with women, whether it's through my podcast, whether it's through my Instagram content, whether it's through my emails, whether it's through my paid offers. I think that includes creating offers that genuinely make women's lives better. But there There are two main things that I am always optimizing for when I run my experiments in my business.
[9:15] Number one is I'm always optimizing for my personal joy and fulfillment. And no, it's not selfish. Here's what I found. There are infinite numbers of ways to make money online. With every single business I start, with every single program I run, I am constantly testing for which of the bajillion options is the most fun for me right now. Which option feels natural, intuitive, fun? Which option feels like a healthy level of challenge? Which option pushes me to new levels?
[9:51] It also requires me, because of this, to be very, very willing to challenge and recreate my personal identity over and over and over. Some of you have heard me say this before, but I feel like I have a little teeny tiny identity crisis about once every year because I am constantly in search of who is is Kaylin really? What are my natural strengths? Who am I supposed to be? What skills am I supposed to be developing or do I want to develop? And this is at the top of my mind because I feel like I'm going through a little teeny tiny identity crisis right now. And I actually went through one, I think, last year about the same time. Maybe it has something to do with my birthday. But I am willing to constantly rebirth myself. I'm willing to shed layers of what doesn't work for me. I'm willing to test new opportunities and see if they do work for me. And then I get pickier and pickier about what I like and what I don't like. And I get better and better at kicking out the things that I don't like more quickly. Life is too short to run a business that doesn't light you up like fireworks on the 4th of July.
[11:03] The second thing that I am always optimizing for is what offers are the easiest to sell. I am constantly testing different arrangements of programs and offers to see how to make offers that really are no-brainers for my customers and clients. I am constantly testing how to create different messaging that is so unique and solves a problem so well and so specifically that people seek me out and seek out my offers and they come to me and buy from me over and over. And also so that I can learn those principles, so that I can teach my clients those principles. I'm always testing content. I'm always testing different freebies. I love gathering data to optimize being able to sell things that make a big impact for more and more people with less and less effort required on my part. It's like I'm always building a jack for a car. And the questions that I'm asking are, how can I get this jack to move more and more weight? How can I get it to create more impact? How can I get it to create more revenue? How can I get this jack to move more and more revenue without having to push so hard on it? That's It's called building leverage into your business, which is one of my favorite games to play and something that I'm starting to get better and better at.
[12:28] The third way that I have watched myself completely transform, this is probably, if you could look back at me 10 years ago, I might seem unrecognizable in this way. I'm really good at asking for help. I paused on this one when I was preparing this episode because I do think that I am really good at asking for help, but it seems like just in the last month or so, that ability has been challenged in new ways. And so the truth is that this has not always been my natural ability. And I do feel like this ability is constantly being expanded for me. Just in the last few weeks, I've had to ask for help in a lot of new ways. We've been going through the process of finding a new nanny, which is always exciting to find a new buddy for my kids to hang out with and someone who really gels with our family. But it also really activates my resistance to asking for help. And so every time we hire someone new, I get to re-go through this mental exercise of reminding myself why asking for help is good for everyone involved. In my calling at church, I felt like I needed more support. And so I needed to ask to get an assistant, which was really hard for me. And I resisted the heck out of it. But I finally did. And it has already dramatically increased my joy in my church assignment.
[13:49] At the beginning of this decade, I used to feel like I asked Nate for help a lot just because he wasn't as available because of his work schedule as he is right now. He still works full-time, but now we have this really cool rhythm in our house where we're pretty good at splitting the housework 50-50. And Nate is really good at looking around and seeing, oh, the washer is empty. I can throw in a load. Or, oh, the kitchen sink is full. I can throw in a load. And so I don't know if it's that I used to be really good at asking and so now he's really good at finding or he's really good at reciprocating or if it's just that we've fallen into this really what I feel is a awesome rhythm that both of us contribute to the household chores very equally I feel like I have a lot of support in that I didn't used to feel that way but I think it's a combination of me feeling more are able to communicate my needs and feeling less shame or guilt about having needs and having the words and ability to say them out loud. So as I'm sitting here right now, it's actually kind of really beautiful to witness that growth in myself.
[15:00] And I went from asking for very little help running my business during naptime and at nighttime in the fringe of the day to how I feel now, which is very well supported. And because of that, when I do have pinch points that come up, I can see them really quickly and really clearly if there is an area where I need more support. And I have an awareness of when I need to ask for help. And I have the words to say when I need help. And I have the confidence and the voice to say it and ask for it when I do need it, which is really cool growth to witness in myself.
[15:36] Finally, a few things I'm looking forward to in my 30s. First, I just have to say this, but the thing that I asked for for my 30th birthday was a night alone in a hotel room. I've heard of people doing this before and I've always wanted to do it, but I never really have before. And a night in a hotel room all by myself. I love hanging out with my kids and my husband too. But just for my birthday weekend, a night at a hotel, a morning at a hotel, I'll probably take myself to brunch because that's my favorite thing ever. I'll probably go buy myself a new pair of jeans because it's been a really long time since I bought brand new jeans. And I will probably get a pedicure because that's also one of my other favorite things. But I'm really looking forward to having a weekend to dream. And I'm going to call it something like dreaming into a new decade because I do feel like this is a really neat opportunity to dream. And I try to take that opportunity as often as I can. But I love sort of just taking the time to capture or create a vision of what I want.
[16:41] What am I trying to create? What am I working towards? What am I doing all this for? What are the areas of my life that I would love to change or improve or develop or refine? and getting super clear and specific on those. And again, because I feel like my ability to ask for things has improved so much. I do feel like it feels safer to dream for things like this because it feels like I can ask for beautiful things to happen because I know how to create them with my own abilities, but also with God's power too.
[17:15] And so that's what I'm going to be doing this weekend. Obviously, that will have concluded when this episode airs, but, I'm sure I will have a lot more things to add to this list of things that I'm looking forward to in my 30s after that, but here are some things that are at the top of my mind. Number one, I'm really looking forward to wrapping up my childbearing years.
[17:35] Nate and I are still unsure of how many more babies are supposed to be in our family, but I do look forward to the day that we can say our family is complete. The next thing that I'm really looking forward to is continuing to sharpen and refine and hone my business skills even more. I'm super excited to play with creating even more leverage in my business, not because I need to or because I have anything to prove to anyone, but just because it sounds fun. It sounds like a really cool way to challenge my abilities and to increase the value that I can provide for other people. I'm really excited to be the go-to girl for something. This is what my identity crisis is wrapped around right now. But I want to be the go-to girl for something. And I'm sure whatever that thing is is going to be amazing when I figure out what it is.
[18:30] Next, I'm really excited to take better care of my body. I'm not going to say that I neglected my body in the last 10 years because I don't think that's true, but I have been relearning or learning maybe for the first time how to take care of my body just in the last recent few months. And I'm really excited to continue that journey and to really put my physical body, the vessel that gets me around from one place to the other, my vessel that makes it possible for me to connect with my husband, for me to be here with my kids and pour more intention and purpose and love into my physical body.
[19:16] And then the last one is, I'm excited to be even more present with my husband and with my babies. And I've talked about this on past episodes before, but I do feel like the ability to be present is an ability, just like riding a bike. I think it's an ability that can be refined and developed over time. And I do feel like I lacked that ability for a large portion of my 20s. And I can say that with complete love for myself and no judgment and no shame about that and honestly gratitude to myself for getting through as well as I did even with some of the awareness and skills that I hadn't learned yet. And so I do think the ability to be present and to feel the magic of your life and to be in the moment and to turn off your work brain and to experience the here and the now without trying to anticipate what's coming in the future is something that I have been really learning and practicing recently. And so I'm really excited about the possibility of expanding that even more over the next decade of my life. Whatever parts of my story brought up things that you are looking forward to or excited to create in your own life, regardless of the number of your age, that's the least important thing to me. I hope that this episode inspires you to dream again.
[20:44] And whether you're starting a new decade or not, whether your birthday is coming or not, it doesn't matter to me. I think there's always opportunities to take an inventory of what's happening in our lives and be pickier and pickier about which parts you want to keep and which parts you want to remove and which parts you want to get rid of more and more quickly. That's always an option that's available to you. So I hope this episode has given you new inspiration of ways to continue or to begin doing that for you, no matter what your age is, whether you're 29, whether you're 99. And I can't wait to see you guys in the next episode. More money can get, how fun marketing can be, and how much joy and presence you're capable of feeling as a woman and as a mother. Find out more and join at katelynpriest.com slash greenhouse, and I'll see you there.
[22:05] Music.
